Music selection: Rain, 10 year old humming and my loves BRMC
What is changing you today? What is working within you? What are you changing?
I find myself asking this a lot, mainly during the quiet morning moments I try to get. Change is the only constant. It’s a force beyond our control no matter how much we try to control it. Nothing ever stays the same.
Ultimately our lives are one change after another, even in the smallest form, it’s what propels us forward.
It’s also something that terrifies us.
As you grow older you change, your body changes, your mind changes and everything around you changes.
It’s easy to miss the subtleties of it until one day you look up and realize that everything is different and you find yourself in the throes of “when the f%^k did that happen?!”.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. My daughter turns 10 this year and it feels like the whole year has been an exercise in slowing time down to grab just one more second of this pre-pre-teen time. Not only do I have the incoming 10 year old but it’s election year and it has been quite the doozy. There has been a lot of talk about change, moving forward, moving back … a lot of “are we going the right way? Is this the right decision?”. We are facing realities about ourselves that we aren’t entirely comfortable seeing in the mirror.
It’s inspired a lot of hatred and a lot of fear.
As humans we fear what we don’t understand and what we can’t control so we fight back against those changes. We undergo surgeries to look younger, we fight with those who would seek to change us, we are constantly looking back at who we were. Is that the best direction? What about who we are becoming? Is it truly worth it to concentrate on where we were and pray for the return of that person/society/group/nation?
We are constantly becoming something more. It is uncomfortable, like growing pains for the almost 10 year old. It wears us down, like the long year that’s now almost gone.
It’s the nature of life.
The year, if anything, has been a constant reminder to live mindfully because in truth, we are just candles in the wind.